


Not Even Hell

by ICarryDeathOnMyWings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Breakup, Crowley is a sweetie, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Light Angst, Love, Not talked about pregnancy, Protective Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 02:05:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17674352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICarryDeathOnMyWings/pseuds/ICarryDeathOnMyWings
Summary: You had been dating Crowley for a while. You loved him but you didn't know if he loved you. You weren't happy and that was as good a reason to break up with someone as any. He was never around, he canceled your plans and came up with excuses for everything.





	Not Even Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! Leave a kudos and comment if you do!

You had been dating Crowley for a while. A year and two months to be exact. You loved him but you didn't know if he loved you. You weren't happy and that was as good a reason to break up with someone as any. He was never around, he canceled your plans and came up with excuses for everything 'The Winchesters...' 'Hell...'. You understood. He needed to do his job but he could've found time for you and frankly, you were sick of it. You had been thinking about breaking him up with a while but you were really going to do it. It was going to be hard as hell but... you had to. 

You called him that night and told him you needed to talk. Of course, he said he was busy. You heaved a sigh, "It's urgent." 

And then he was in your bedroom, "What is it, Love?" He looked... ready to leave. That only served to piss you off. 

"I want to break up." You stated firmly. 

He visibly faltered, "You- you what?"

"I want to break up." You felt terrible. You loved him. Why were you doing this?

"Why? Why? What have I done?"

"Nothing. You never see me anymore. You're always with the Winchesters or Cas and I love them, but I can't do this anymore. We need time together." 

He stared at you for a moment before nodding a little bit, "I... I okay." He closed his eyes, "Can I fix this?"

"No." You had held it together well enough up to this point but you still felt like crying and you thought you were about to. 

"Well then... I... suppose I'll get going. If you ever need me..." He looked lost. Confused even.

"Goodbye." This whole thing had gone better than you had thought but as soon as he was gone you fell on to the bed in a heap and started to cry.

~Two Years Later~

You had moved in with the Winchesters. Maybe a bad move but after you and Crowley had broken up you'd moved out of your apartment since being there hurt too much. 

You weren't a hunter but you took care of the bunker while the boys were away. You cleaned, cooked, did laundry. You were actually very happy with them. They kept you safe.

But the most important thing you did was take care of your baby girl, Lilian. She was a year and four months old and the real reason you moved into the bunker. 

You knew they'd protect you both. Few people knew of your past relationship with Crowley but you were always worried someone would come after you and now with a baby, Crowley's baby, you couldn't risk it. 

The boys were so good to you. They'd never told Crowley they had you at the bunker with them, even though he'd ask every once in a while if they'd heard from you. 

It had been about three months ago when the message he'd given them had changed:

"We saw Crowley today," Dean said as you sat in the kitchen eating.

"Okay..?" You looked over at him, "It's always the same story."

"This time... it was different." Sam insisted. Though neither of them liked Crowley all the much they had liked the two of you together. You had kept Crowley in line. 

"How so?" You stabbed at a piece of chicken. 

"He said that if we saw you we should tell you that he still loves you, that he was sorry for pushing you away."

You stopped moving for a second. Still... that meant that he had loved you. You shut your eyes tight for a moment, "I'm over it." You stated and looked over at your daughter who was babbling nonsense, "I'm done with him."

As much as you hated to admit it, you still loved him too. With all your heart but you didn't want to get involved with that again. How could you raise a baby together? Not that he knew you had had one to start with. You felt guilty about not telling him sometimes but you knew his track record with children was not so good.

Well, it just so happened that one day the boys needed Crowley's help, so they summoned him to the bunker, which was normally fine because they always told you first. This time, however, your car had been in the auto shop for some work, something Dean had forgotten. He had assumed you were out in town with Lilian. Which, of course, was wrong. 

The three of them were in the middle of talking when you walked into the library with Lilian on your hip, "Sam? Dean? Can I bo-" You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw who they were talking to. 

Crowley's eyes were on you in a second. You couldn't breathe or hide or do anything but stare. He spoke first, "Moose, Squirrel, I thought you said you didn't know where she was."

"We were protecting her." Dean said without hesitation, "She wanted it so we gave it to her."

"Protection from who? Me?"

Finally, you found your voice, "No. Not from you. From the people who would hurt me if they knew what I was to you."

He looked furious, "What? And I can't protect you?" He seemed oblivious to the baby in your arms.

"No! In order to protect someone, you have to be around!" Lilian didn't like you yelling, she never had. She whimpered and then started to cry. That drew Crowley's attention to her. 

You pulled her up to your chest and whispered softly to her, trying to get her to calm down. 

"Who is that?" Crowley stared at her.

"Her name is Lilian." You kissed the side of her head, she had your hair but Crowley’s eyes. 

"How old is she?" 

You hesitated, you didn't know if you wanted him to know or not. In the end, your conscious won out, "Year and four months."

"Is... is she..?" He was staring at her but he couldn't see her face since that was tucked against your chest.

You nodded a little bit, "Yes."

He fell silent then. He didn't know what to do. The Winchester's had had you all along, you had been right here and now he had a baby, a baby that was a year old.

You swallowed thickly and held the back of Lilian's head. You didn't know what to do either. Dean looked over at you, "Do you... want to talk?" 

"Sure." Your voice was barely more than a whisper. He nodded and the Winchesters quickly disappeared.

As soon as they were gone Crowley took a step forward. You held your ground. 

"I have a daughter?" He whispered.

You looked up at him and it hit you then how much you'd missed him. He had been your whole world for a while. You loved him even after all your years apart. 

"Can I hold her?" The way he spoke, it was almost like he was scared, maybe nervous was the better word. 

You looked down at the baby in her arms. She looked back at you with warm brown eyes, his eyes. She was adorable, everything you could have hoped for and more, "Yes." You carefully handed her over. For a moment she looked confused. She was only used to having Sam and Dean hold her but for some reason, she settled right into Crowley. 

"She's beautiful." He smiled at her, he had tears in his eyes, "You're absolutely beautiful." 

She babbled in response. She could speak some words, like 'Mama', 'Foo'', 'No' and 'Up' but mostly it was just babbling. He grinned, "You are. I think you know that you are."

You couldn't help but smile at them. Crowley looked so happy. Maybe he could change, if not you then for Lilian. 

"Y/n?" He asked softly and looked up at you, "I'm sorry for what I did. I let hell get the best of me, I let it get between us. That should never happen. You have and always will be the most important thing to me... next to this amazing little girl. I want to be a part of your life again. Maybe not as a boyfriend but... please let me know my daughter."

You couldn't say no to that. He looked so sincere. Slowly, you nodded, "Okay. For Lilian."

~Two Years Later~

You watched happily as your husband chased your two little girls around the living room. 

Lilian was now a little over three years old and your youngest, Emma, was eleven months old. Crowley and you had stayed separate for a four months before you couldn't take out any more. You couldn't be that close to him but not be with him and then there was Emma.

You had gotten married after she was born. You couldn't be happier. Crowley came home every night for dinner, some days he'd surprise you by meeting you at work so he could take you out on a lunch date.

The two of you had bought a house near the bunker just in case something were to happen. Nothing had yet, hopefully, it would stay that way. 

You laughed as Crowley caught up with Emma and scooped her into his arms, "I got you!" He exclaimed. She squealed and squirmed around, "No! No!" 

As Lilian ran by you, you picked her up as well. She laughed and hugged your neck. You grinned and buried your face in her hair. This was the life you had always wanted with Crowley. You were grateful every day that you got to live it and nothing, not even Hell, would come between you again.


End file.
